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0 In the ever-wise Republic of Ghana, where the rooster crows before the Constitution and morality wears party colours, we have found ourselves entangled in a national riddle:
You can legally chop at 16… but you must wait till 18 to carry your chop box into marriage.
This, dear reader, is not satire—it is statute.
The paradox became gospel truth this week when our Supreme Court nominees were ushered into Parliament’s Confusion Chamber, also known as the Appointments Committee.
Justice Janapare Bartels-Kodwo, a woman of robe and reason, declared with grandmotherly firmness, “Education is the ultimate contraceptive.” As if to say, if we teach the girl-child well enough, she may delay her honeymoon until her WASSCE results are out.
Meanwhile, Justice Sir Dennis Adjei, clearly from the If-You-Can’t-Beat-Them-Stop-Them School of Thought, thundered, “If you can’t marry, don’t have sex.”
Aha! As if youth listen to moral sermons these days. Even your born-again niece is on TikTok saying “God did!” after catching bouquet at her boyfriend’s hall week party.
The Law, The Loophole, and The Ludo Game
The current law allows 16-year-olds to engage in horizontal refreshment—but prohibits them from exchanging rings until two years later. A legal loophole so wide even a trotro driver with faulty brakes could pass through.
One cannot help but wonder: What’s the rationale? That a 16-year-old can explore intimacy but not commitment? It’s like saying, “Here’s the gas cooker, but don’t you dare boil water.”
As the elders say in Tegbi, if the child is old enough to taste palm wine, don’t be surprised when she starts asking for bitters.
Parliament: Where the Drama Has a Gavel
The vetting exercise quickly transformed into Parliament’s version of Agoro, where the rules change with every clap. Deputy Speaker Ahiafor and Minority Leader Afenyo-Markin engaged in a verbal boxing match that made boxing day come early.
Afenyo, full of research and righteous indignation, said, “If you want to fold this vetting, fold it!” To which Ahiafor calmly replied, “I still overrule you.”
Ghanaians watching from home muttered, “Ei, even our family meetings have more order than this.”
Netizens React
@NanaAmaJ: “Ghana’s legal system is a Kumawood script waiting for direction.”
@YawPolitical: “We want democracy without democracy. Culture and confusion holding hands like lovers.”
@KwameRetort: “You can’t marry till 18, but can have sex at 16. So what happens in between? Bible study and bouncing castle?”
@AfiaSatire: “‘Education is a contraceptive’—so should we start handing out BECE certificates instead of condoms?”
Wisdom from the Streets
A coconut seller in Kejetia put it best: “If the girl can carry pregnancy at 16, why can’t she carry husband?” But before we cheer for common sense, remember, the girl may also need to carry a future—and not just diapers.
That is the wisdom Justice Bartels-Kodwo gently hinted at: education not just as a path to knowledge, but a shield against early regrets.
Still, our laws sit like mismatched kente—bright, bold, but barely stitched together. The Constitution hums one tune, morality sings another, and Parliament? Parliament plays adowa in mismatched slippers.
Final Thoughts from the Uncommon Sense Bench
In Ghana, satire is survival. When the laws are funnier than the comedians, the court becomes the stage.
Until we align our legal logic with lived reality, we will keep confusing our children, our judges, and ourselves.
As for now, if you’re 16 and curious—stick to novels and Sobolo. Marriage can wait, even if temptation won’t.
After all, the chicken that lays eggs early often forgets it’s still in the coop.
#UncommonSense #SexAndTheStatute #ChopBoxChronicles #GhanaSatire
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The writer, Jimmy Aglah, is a media executive, author, and sharp-eyed social commentator. His debut novel, Blood and Gold: The Rebellion of Sikakrom, now available on Amazon Kindle, explores power, rebellion, and the soul of a nation. When he’s not steering broadcast operations, he’s busy challenging conventions—often with satire, always with purpose.
